Day 330: T is for tantrum

Okay, so I know it's been a while. Blame the baby.

This is my last week at home with Maddie. I cannot believe I've been off work for a year! I also cannot believe that I am dreading going back to work. When Maddie was 2 months I would have gone back for free in an instant. Now the thought of not being with her every day just about kills me. I worry about silly things that I know I shouldn't. I worry she'll forget about me, that we won't be as close as we are now, that I'll miss out on all of those ever-important milestones.

What I won't miss, I must admit, is her newfound penchant for throwing little hissy fits. If you've ever read any post of mine you'll know that she's always been a bit of a crier. I tend to harp on about it. But we've entered a whole new realm lately. It's not really crying so much as mad screeching. I stupidly thought I could take her with me to the art supply store last week to run a quick errand. Of course she was intent on ripping every last thing off of the shelves. Every piece of paper, every stamp and gluestick. Happily shrieking the whole time. So loud, in fact, that the lady working downstairs had to come up to check out where the eardrum-shattering noise was coming from. It was total chaos. My head was pounding, I think I was even sweatingat one point. And every time I took away something she wasn't supposed to have - like, oh, a pair of scissors or a box of tacs or some other life-threatening device - she lost it. Screaming, crying, hitting me. I was apalled. So were the other people in the store, I'm sure. Anyways, the whole scenario was repeated the next day at Gymboree when I wouldn't let her tear open the toys they had for sale. Apparently there is a stage before the terrible twos called the god-awful ones; and we've hit it.

Actually, though, I must say she has been a total sweetheart for the past couple of days, smiling and giggling all the time. I think she's trying to earn some points so she gets big presents for her birthday. Tricky, tricky. But I'm on to her. She's really learning a lot these days. Not so much the walking and talking, but she's loving her little books and toys and sits for ages trying to figure them all out. She's so determined and persistent, it's amazing to watch her hard at work on her little tasks. And she's making silly faces and noises and dancing in front of the tv and has me laughing more than ever. I'm going to miss these days with her.