Day 581: Time marches on...

Fernando and I were chatting in the car yesterday morning on our way to work. Two guesses as to what the conversation was about. You got it – Maddie. Specifically, we were talking about his habit of replying to the question, “How old is she?” with the impressively vague answer, “One-and-something.” I tend to be much more specific – “She turned 19 months last week.” He doesn’t like dealing in months. One-and-something is clearly so much better. Anyways, at one point he sighed and said, “She’s almost two, soon she’ll be five, then she’ll be twelve, and then we’re out of the picture.” I was half-expecting to hear a violin in the background.

This is a familiar refrain. Poor Fernando, he can see Maddie’s entire life stretched out like a path in front of her, with each step ahead taking her that much further away from us. Her first day of school, her first sleepover, her first slammed door, date, job, car, apartment. The first time she screams “I hate you, Dad!” or worse yet, “But Daddy, I looove him!” – in his mind, it’s all hurtling towards us at warp speed. And while I know he’s right – while I know everybody is right when they tell me it all passes way too quickly – I somehow can’t see it the way he can. I literally cannot picture her beyond the age of about two-and-a-half (sorry, “two-and-something"). I cannot picture her talking, or with hair that’s grown past her ears. I can’t picture her getting herself dressed or making herself a bowl of cereal or walking herself to school in the morning.

And yet I know, of course, that it’s coming. I think back to all of the things that she’s already left behind her – falling asleep on her Daddy’s chest at night, her gummy smiles, her habit of spitting up all over strangers. Now she’s running around and making silly faces and playing games – things I couldn’t imagine her doing when she was a newborn, things that have somehow crept up on me. I guess it makes me wonder which is better (or which is worse): having these moments pass by without you realizing it or seeing them come from miles – and years – away. I have a feeling that is one of those irritating questions that has no right answer. One thing is for certain, there’s no stopping the clock now. So I guess we’ll both try to just enjoy each moment as it passes.

(A photographer friend took this picture of Maddie and it’s my new favourite – if you live in the area, check out her Web site, she takes great family photos: www.capturedbyamy.com)