Day 601: Lessons from the trenches

I was writing about Keri Russell’s insights into motherhood this morning and it got me to thinking. You know Keri Russell – Felicity, remember? That girl could shave her head and go on to win an Oscar but she will somehow always be Felicity to me. She had a son a few months back and has been waxing poetic about motherhood and babies ever since. Not that I blame her - I appreciate it, in fact. I felt the same compulsion after having Maddie. Everyone had to hear about the pregnancy, the labour, the crying (hers and mine!), the never-ending quest for a schedule. Thus this blog! Anyways, I digress.

Felicity’s lessons learned got me to thinking about my own. So here they are, in no particular order:

1. It turns out not all babies are alike after all. It turns out they can be quite different, and so many of the pre-conceived notions of what life with baby is going to be like end up being tossed aside after a lengthy and losing battle to get your particular baby to conform to the standard. And then you start to accept the baby that you have, rather than the one you may have thought you were going to have. And then things start to get easier.


2. You’re stronger and more capable than you think you are. You can survive on less sleep, with less time, with more responsibility, with more questions, with only one free hand. You may end up exhausted and a little bit crazy, but you can do it.


3. A lot of things that I thought might matter – it turns out they don’t. Things like having the nicest house, or the fattest paycheque; having the smallest waistline or the most admirers or a wardrobe that isn’t coated in crusty banana pudding and slobber. Compared to time spent with your family, to watching your baby grow up happy and loved, those things don’t mean too much at all. Although I’d still take the small waistline.


4. Babies are born with their own personalities and on their own timelines. They’re going to roll over when they want to, walk when they want to, and talk when they want to. They’ll master utensils on their own time and potty train when they’re ready. And if they feel like hating the carseat one day and loving it the next, well then that’s what they’re going to do. You can encourage them, but if you have hopes of dictating all of these things… good luck. And if you have any success, I want to know your secret!


5. You can always love more. I love my family, my friends, my husband, my dog (most days). I love Johnny Depp movies and a glass of really cold wine and finding a good shoe sale. For a long time I didn’t know if I wanted to be a mother, in part because my life felt full already. And then I had Maddie and found that despite putting love into all of those things, I had tons left over in me for her. An endless supply for her.

My lessons learned aren’t the same as Felicity’s and probably won’t be the same as yours. And if you call me in 2 years (or 3 months) I'm sure I will have extensive revisions to the list!

ps - I just realized this is my 100th post! Wow, why does is feel like so many more than that? I'm sure it feels that way to you, too. :) Thanks for sticking around!